My Holiday Song

This post is a day late; Madge’s birthday is on the 16th. Forgive me; my run broke me off, thus slowing me down.

Nevertheless, the post must go on!

Yesterday, I ran.

I ran on a trail I haven’t been before at before. My sister has plenty of times, but for me, it was brand spanking new.

I brought my phone, instead of my iPod for the run (really, mostly walk) this time. I browse through my Spotify library, and decided to run/walk to a Madonna playlist. I mean after all, it was her birthday.

I settled on her latest, Rebel Heart. Then my PT began.

I usually listen to the words when I run, as a way to pump me up and push me on the trail. And I usually skip songs if they’re too slow. However, I just left the playlist alone as I did my thing.

I thought about what I wanted to write about on Madonna’s birthday. I thought about how she inspired me through much of my life.

While my high school classmates relied on Eminem, Korn, or Shania Twain to survive the awkward years, I started listening to Madonna. I mean, really listen to her.

Ray of Light was what I listened to when I got home, when I could close the door and cry or be inspired.

I traveled round the world

Looking for a home

I found myself in crowded rooms

Feeling so alone

Drowned World/Substitute For Love

Granted, at 18 the only worldly place I visited was Mexico. But I wasn’t popular; I often felt alone around my classmates. I didn’t fit in anywhere. I tried to when I was little, but as I got older popularity fell to the back and just decided not fitting in wasn’t so bad. Lonely, but not so bad.

And I had dreams. I wanted to so bad to go to school in New York City. When I think back on it now, I wanted to go not because of prestigious schools like NYU, but because I wanted to leave the small town in Texas and pursue my dreams in NYC. As the saying goes, “If I can make it there, then I can make it anywhere.”

The only thing is, I just had to find a way to get there.

Traveling down this road

Watching the signs as I go

I think I’ll follow the sun

Isn’t everyone just

 

Traveling down their own road

Watching the signs as they go

I think I’ll follow my heart

It’s a very good place to start

Sky Fits Heaven

The only thing is, I just had to find a way to get there.

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Ray of Light is what cemented me to be a fan. It was the album that made me anticipate her next album, and made me go back to her catalog and enjoy the songs as they are. Because back then, when I saw Like A Prayer or see little clips of Justify My Love on MTV, I used to think Madonna had good music, but she wasn’t a good or Christian person. How dare she offend the Catholic faith?!

Now, I get it. I understand why she did what she did. She pushed boundaries, she had a vision, and she knew what she wanted. Back then I had no freaking idea what the hell I wanted, other than I wanted to leave Texas. To do what? To be a singer. To be a makeup artist. To be a writer. Hell, if Madonna can make it with $35 dollars in her pocket, standing in the middle of Times Square, then I can, too! I’ll figure it out!

Of course, I know now I can’t. Especially since you need to make a six-figure income to live in NYC, according to CNBC.

And I learned on my life journey that I didn’t have the passion or dedication to be a singer. I love makeup, but I love putting it on me, not on another face. And I knew I was good at writing, but I just didn’t think I was good at it.

So now what?

No, I couldn’t go to NYC if I had no idea what I wanted to do. Really, I needed to build the confidence that Madonna had.

Cut to me, 17 years later. I finally graduated college. I finally know what I want to do and what I am meant to do.

Now I just have to find the job where I can write the news for the people.

And for me, my “music” is the people, the issues. It’s what helps me to find stories, and what I hope will bring people together.

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